🌟 Welcome to the Mop Up

Welcome to another exciting week of The Mop Up. We've got a packed newsletter full of what you missed from the week before. Let’s dive in.

Pop Culture

The Short & Skinny 🥤 

• Selena got engaged —and Justin might be feeling a way.

• Justin took to IG to get cryptic and messy — he posted a meme that got a lot of people talking

• People are talking — There’s been a lot of talk about Justin and whether or not he still may have feelings for Selena. It also might explain the fascination Hailey has had not only with Selena but with Justin as a whole.

Our thoughts

The Obsession is Worth Side-Eyeing

Justin and Selena were never just a couple—they were a saga. And while Selena looks like she finally got off the rollercoaster, Justin still seems stuck riding it with a passenger he never really picked.

The Short & Skinny 🥤 

• Morgan barely participated in any skits — it felt like the cast was dragging a brick around stage.

• After the episode aired, he stormed off and posted “take me back to God’s country” like it was Coachella detox.

• SNL fans weren’t just disappointed — they were waiting for the show’s writers to clap back. Spoiler: they did.

• His meltdown gave big “I thought this would be easy” energy — and the industry took note.

Our thoughts

This Was a Big PR Fumble

SNL is a platform artists dream about — and Morgan got handed the mic and fumbled like it was soaked in whiskey. Instead of leaning in, he dipped out, which says more about his comfort zone than his star power.

Politics

The Short & Skinny 🥤 

• Prime Minister Mark is pissed at Trump’s little tariff idea —a 20% tariff hike on Canada and the entire world

• Carney & Trump are talking — While things aren’t great right now, both parties claimed they kept it cute over the phone.

• Canada may have to deal with tariffs for — aluminum, steel, dairy and other products. Yikes!

Our thoughts

Trump Got Krump

We’re no politicians over here at The Janitor’s Closet. But Trump has been showing his ass for everybody to kiss this election term. A lot of it doesn’t make long term sense. It’s turning the economy upside down. And we’re pissing a lot of people off in true American fashion. Maybe there’s a play here? If so, we don’t see it.

The Short & Skinny 🥤 

• Cory Booker didn’t just talk — he spoke for 25 hours straight to break the filibuster record.

• His marathon speech wasn’t just political theater — it was a plea to the public to stop sleepwalking through national chaos.

• Topics ranged from healthcare to education to immigration — all under the umbrella of “wake up, y’all.”

Our thoughts

When the Alarm Clock is a Senator in a Suit

Booker’s not everyone's favorite politician, but you gotta respect the hustle.
In a time when people are numb to headlines and desensitized to crisis, he said “let me talk until you feel something.” And honestly? It worked. It’s the political version of shaking someone by the shoulders and yelling "snap out of it!"

The Short & Skinny 🥤 

• Trump announced a 10% tariff on 60+ countries and regions to "protect U.S. interests."

• Included in the list? Heard and McDonald Islands — which have no humans, no exports, and a penguin population that minds its business.

• When questioned about it, Secretary Rollins straight up said: “whatever.”

• The islands are known for volcanoes, rare wildlife, and now apparently economic sanctions.

Our thoughts

The Penguins Are Innocent, Bro

Trump’s trade strategy is starting to feel like he threw darts at a map. No humans? No problem. Just hit 'em with a tariff anyway. This whole saga is peak 2024 energy — chaotic, confusing, and slightly hilarious until you realize this is real policy. Let the penguins live, man.

Hip Hop

The Short & Skinny 🥤 

• Vybz Kartel hinted at a track with Drake, and the internet did what it does — speculated hard.

• Kartel is fresh off a prison release, which makes any move right now a headline-grabber.

• Drake, on the heels of his messy rap beef era, could benefit from touching grass musically — or at least touching dancehall again.

Our Thoughts

This Is a Power Move Disguised as a Casual Collab

Timing-wise? Couldn’t be better. Both artists are in the market for a narrative shift. It’s a smart play: Drake taps into raw street cred, Vybz gets access to a massive global platform. If the track slaps, it could be more than a banger — it could be a redemption arc.

Social Media

The Short & Skinny 🥤 

• A new AI trend has folks uploading casual pics and getting studio-grade headshots back.

• The results? Scary good. Clean backgrounds, perfect lighting, pores erased like a freshman resume.

• But the twist: people are now posting their original photos saying “this doesn’t even look like me 🥺” as if they weren’t fishing for compliments the whole time.

Our Thoughts

We See You, LinkedInfluencers

• Engagement bait is baiting hard. Comments full of “omg you're so pretty either way 💖” — you know the vibes. Meanwhile, AI just gave someone a promotion they didn’t earn yet.Listen. We get it. AI’s doing for self-esteem what therapy forgot. But if your selfie in a hoodie magically turns into an executive headshot in front of a mahogany bookcase, just say thanks and keep it pushing.

That’s everything you missed last week 🌟